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Faithfulness is expected in a marriage, no matter what the circumstances. Whether dating or married, there is a promise between two people to stay exclusive. However, life isn’t always cut and dry, and some people chose to cheat on one another. Now you’re getting a divorce from the swindler, but will the judge care that he cheated on you?

In 1953, Oklahoma changed from being a fault state to a no-fault state, meaning that anyone can ask for a divorce based on incompatibility. This also means, however, that any misconduct committed during the marriage (including adultery) does not have much influence on the judge unless it effects finances or the well being of the children. Even if your ex- husband or wife cheated on you, the court primarily considers this in terms of how it affected the children after or during the marriage.

For any infidelity allegations to be seriously considered by the court, the actions would have to be proven as detrimental to the child. When trying to understand if your child has been affected by the cheating or not, a good place to start is by analyzing what you already know. Is the child aware of the cheating? Has the child been introduced to the other girlfriend? Is there any potential risk of harm to the child? A few examples of how cheating could affect child are centered around confusion and frustration. A child could be confused as to who his biological mother or father is if they have been introduced to the ex-spouses second significant other. They could also become irritated or uncomfortable with the entire situation and lose trust in whoever committed the cheating.

Judges generally do not judge custody cases and visitation issues based on faithfulness. Judges base decisions off of the child’s well being, and in doing so consider both the current effects and potential effects of cheating. If there seems to be no effect on the child, judges will usually not take cheating into account. However, every judge interprets the law differently. When deciding whether or not to make a case centered around adultery to the court, discuss the best plan of action with a qualified lawyer and understand that the court cares more about children than infidelity.

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